Archive for the ‘jokes’ Category

Sometimes in the middle of a long match, a player may start to wear down and get “dog tired”.

dog_tired

When challenged with that situation, the best solution is to get up from the board, take a short walk and collect your thoughts. Perhaps grab a cup of coffee, a soda, or an energy drink. Then sit down at the board again with a fresh perspective and start again.

Or, you can just take a cue from the dog in the picture, and just lay your head down on the board and take a nap!

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karpov2After over five years in Suffern, we’ve been informed that none other than Anatoly Karpov is an avid reader of our chess blog! Even more surprising, he recently contacted us to find out how he could help us boost our membership.

We explained to him that unlike other clubs in the tri-state area, we do not have deep pockets and would be unable to provide him with an appearance fee, first class airline travel, a chauffeured limousine, or even a bag of pretzels.

We told him we could provide our undying gratitude, a number of players willing to participate in a simul, and a rapt audience to listen to a chess lecture. Or if that’s not possible, we offered to wash his car for him and have club members on call to work as his full-time butler the next time he’s in town.

Luckily, the former world champion has a big heart and after discussions with his seconds (and thirds) we were told that he would find a way to help us out once he has some spare time. Why? Because he wants to do for Suffern what he did for Lindsborg, Kansas! (you know – the site of the Anatoly Karpov International School of Chess).

As one might imagine, Anatoly has a busy schedule, he just got back from Australia after participating in the Just Owners of Koalas Event. He told us that there are many events in Russia (and Crimea) that allow club players to build their ratings, for example the Just Orphaned Kamchatkan’s Extravaganza.

He was very kind and gregarious and provided insight into the way a Grandmaster thinks by offering the following advice that is applicable to both novices and experts:

  • Always remember to bring two pencils to every match, just in case one breakskarpov-kasparov
  • Prepare for your opponents as if your life depended on it
  • Remember to move your knights first, unless you have a really good reason to do otherwise
  • Invest in good chess software, or find a good expert player for chess lessons
  • Losing isn’t so bad, it’s better than a poke in the eye, or a horde of Cossacks
  • Follow your heart, it will show you the right path
  • Only attack after efficiently evaluating an advantageous position, or if you just need to get home early
  • Often prepare for defense, sometimes an opponent may surprise you
  • Love your enemies, they don’t mean to be mean (they were just born that way)

Unfortunately, in the end, we couldn’t work out terms for a simul or a personal appearance. So, instead Anatoly agreed to observe one of our tournaments and give a virtual lecture via Skype. However, because his schedule is so busy, he has agreed to do the broadcast on June 31st of 2015. He might also have a double-booked appointment to visit the Russian space station, but he has assured us that he can do the Skype lecture from orbit if necessary.

What a great guy!

(oh, and happy April Fool’s day!)

The Fool

We found this photo while doing a random search on Google images. You might think “this can’t be real” and you would be right! Of course it isn’t real. It is a clever gag inspired by a comic on xkcd.com.

If you take another look, you can see the velcro on the pieces …

Geico Chess Commercial

Posted: July 25, 2010 in jokes
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I’m normally not a fan of Geico’s commercials, especially those caveman ones, but this one regarding chess and that famous soccer announcer is very funny.

So, I had this idea for a new article.  Why not search the web and find various sites that sell t-shirts related to chess?  Even though it’s a niche product, there must be hundreds of websites with cool t-shirts, right?

Well in the end, after a bit of surfing the web, I did find a few sites.  But the truth is, there were only two websites which had merchandise that was worth mentioning, and only one of them had the variety and odd sense of humor that I found appealing.  So, without further ado, here are the two sites in question:

Endgame Clothing (www.endgameclothing.com)

This site has shirts for men and women and also has an accompanying blog.  Shirts cost $22 each.  The blue “horsey” design is the tamest of the bunch.  Most of the others have either a “goth” look or a kind of “biker chess” feel to them.  The designer’s heart is in the right place, but to me, “tough guy” and “chess player” don’t really go together.  That doesn’t mean I’m right or wrong, it’s just not my style. 

Endgame-plainchessshirt - endgame2

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Cafe Press (www.cafepress.com/chess)

This site offers a variety of merchandise from a ridiculous number of vendors.  Their website claims they have 6.5 million members who create, sell and buy T-shirts and other products.  They say they’ve been around since 1999 and are based in San Mateo, California.

Most of the shirts on this site also sell for $22 (seems to be the going rate), however what struck me was the sheer variety of content.  There are thousands of designs to choose from and the best part is, many of them are funny, others are minimalist ideas that will appeal to fellow chess players, and some make chess seem (dare I say it) … cool.

So if you see me at the club in a few weeks and wonder where I got that t-shirt, it was probably from Cafe Press …

Chessshirt-1e4Chess-shirt eat sleep chess

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chess-shirt-its a lifestylechessshirt - football is

“Fight Club” Parody

Posted: October 4, 2009 in jokes, Video
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For those of you who have seen the movie Fight Club, somebody came up with a very funny parody of it called “Chess Club”.  If you look closely, you’ll see they make the common error of setting up the board incorrectly – dark squares on the right hand side, but only a chess geek like me would notice that. 

(I never did see the movie, but the funny thing is, I have an idea of what it must be like from this video clip!)

updateThe site has been updated with a variety of new content for your enjoyment.  Feel free to explore the new posts in the news,  jokes, and trivia sections.

We also have added a new chess store “The Chess Zone” which is a local Haverstraw business that offers a wide variety of resonably priced merchandise on their website.  They are also the source of the new joke which was posted to the site today.

Lastly, we’d like to congratulate Roger Pedersen on having one of his games from the 2009 World Senior Amateur tournament featured in the Star-Ledger in the Chessmate column.  If anybody can find the link to this article (believe me, I tried) we would be happy to post it.

Top 10 List

Posted: May 17, 2008 in chess, jokes
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We have a new entry in our “Fun Stuff / Trivia” section.  head on over to that section of our site to find out the “Top 10 Reasons Chess is Better than Baseball”.

This can be a fun new feature to the site.  Send us your ideas for future lists.  We’ll be happy to post the best ones.